A week or so ago, a parent came to our rehearsal who told us her family’s story. Her teenage son came out to them and she felt ill-equipped to help, support, and guide him. She turned to CIGSYA who provided counseling and guidance, making a potentially scary journey a little less so.

The response of the audience always brings me to tears. They are so grateful. And to see young GBLT youth, able to be honest and true about themselves is (and I don’t think this is too dramatic) life changing for me. While I don’t particularly relish the 1.5 hour drive there and then another back. But I know that I am going to see brilliant smiles so grateful to the BGMC…and that we might have a positive effect helping make lives better than they were for us, makes it all worth it.

I think (and this isn’t a slam or criticism) that the BGMC doesn’t toot their own horn enough, particularly about these out reach efforts. THIS is precisely why fundraising events like the upcoming Crescendo are so critical. I hope that you will be able to support the BGMC in anyway possible. The work they do affects so many lives. So please consider attending our fundraiser. It’s guaranteed to be a great night out! Details here!

I sit awaiting the arrival of the Adobe Creative Suite software 5.5 which will herald the restart of working on my book. I am preparing for that arrival by reading up on how to construct an ebook and by cleaning up a few other scattered creative ideas littering that space in my mind where I “work.” I can’t really explain it more than that…and perhaps those of you who work to create things will know what I mean.

Anyway, part of my anxiety lately (and there always is anxiety…it’s one of those things that I just have learned to to accept and moved on…knowing that I do not want to use daily medication — nothing against anyone who does…this is all a person choice and my choice is not to.) is that I don’t have a lot of anxiety that the actual work is about to begin. The rubber is going to hit the road and the piper must be paid (enough cliches for you?. So, in a back corner of that “room” is a door to a closet. In that closet, under a bunch of stuff is a box and in that box is the grain of doubt that will sprout the idea that no one is going to want to read or use this book. That the negative reaction is going to be so crushing that I may not be able to handle it and will prevent me from working. BUT, that seed has yet to sprout. I think it has been prevented from germinating by something Cat Bordhi said to a group I was in. She said that we should never believe what others say about ourselves…not the most amazing platitudes, not the most degrading criticisms. — She’s a smart lady.

So, I have been preparing for the work to come and (insanely, I know) worried that I’m not more worried about how I’m actually going to do this. But what I really think is happening is that this book has selected me to bring it into existence. I know this because the more I push to create it, the less anything happens. When I relax and listen to it, then things come into focus.

AND, as things often happen with me, I just got interested in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Eat, Pray, Love. I am enjoying it very much. And as my Obsessive Compulsive self often does, I scoured and read all the things about Elizabeth Gilbert that I could. And I found the following video (link provided below.) I encourage any of my creative brothers and sisters to invest the 20 minutes it takes to watch this video, below. I think the most inspiring and insightful things are near the last 10 minutes. And it’s so comforting knowing that I’m not the only one that thinks like this. It may be crazy, but I feel comforted knowing I’m not crazy alone. Enjoy!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

It’s interesting. I went back to the document we (the Visionaries) received when we attended the Men’s Visionary Retreat back in March of 2010. At that retreat Cat Bordhi compared our project to the fox in “The Little Prince.”

“What must I do to tame you?” asked the little prince

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day.”

Cat then went on to explain … “and so you shall tame both your book and yourself, by listening without words, until your book trusts you to hear its true voice and beckons you to again, showing the way. The books is once more showing me the way. And if you can, I would be so honored and humbled if you could help get this book produced.

You can follow the link, below, to my Kickstarter project page…and please, perhaps even more helpful — please share my project on your Facebook and Twitter pages, to help me get the word out!

Thank you! Thank you!

Click on the image above or follow the link below.

http://kck.st/AzQndZ

I’ve been laying out the book and just had a lovely photo shoot. The snow and the light were so beautiful, I took the camera and several designs from the book. Here is a sneak peek. The yarns were all generously donated by Classic Elite, MadelineTosh, Quince & Company, and not show, yet (Westminster Fibers). These companies have been waiting patiently for the book…and I hope are as excited about the new venture.

The book has truly had a mind of its own and has a schedule of its own. If I had my way, it would have been published last year! But another hurdle was presented…and, in thinking about it, about the future of publishing, about “green” publishing, I have decided to make this an “e” book. Distribution and marketing are challenges still need to be overcome. But that’s just a new opportunity. I’m waiting for the book to let me know how it wants to be published. . . Please enjoy these little snippets.

I plan on making this journey pubic and each time I post to Facebook, the entry will begin with my current weight followed by total pounds lost. Ive done this before. I can do this again.

In addition, I’m really going to pay close attention to what my inner dialog is…to get rid of any inner voices intent on damaging my sense of self worth. I think this is the harder goal.

Happy New Year all..

I love Facebook and how it keeps me connected to people I otherwise wouldn’t be. Lives get busy and it’s nice to know friends are still there even though we aren’t hanging out (in person) these days. But I’m continually shocked when I see people who grew up in the same blue-collar neighborhood as I did become these anti-Democrats. Now, before anyone gets too silly, OH, I think there should be reforms…sure. The brilliance of our (in theory) system, is that it can (and should) change as times change. But now and then I read shocking posts and comments with an alarming left-wing flavor from people I grew up with – sure they have money now…but how quickly we forget. Then I think…(echoing a recent Elizabeth Warren quote circulated recently on Facebook) that of course they’re changing their colors now, now that there might be a little money to protect. But I ask, who helped you earn that money? I hear the oft-repeated sentiment, “I did it myself with little or no help.” But I say that you didn’t do it yourself. Sure you “put yourself through college”. But most likely a state college and not in the Ivy League. Who built those colleges? Who built that school or funded the Pell grants and other possible financial aid packages you got? (and even if, now on your high horse, you point out that you didn’t get any financial aid — who provided you with an affordable education (affordable in comparison with a private school?) Who funded the public transportation? or the infrastructure? that helped you get to those schools?

Now, while your achievement is to be applauded, it is now YOUR turn to hold up your part of this social contract we are all part of and help fund the next round of those who want to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Shame on you for trying to prevent that while you’re grasping, white knuckled to your new money.

Now, I’m not blind or dumb. I know what’s going on. I just cannot imagine your support of the very people who would have prevented you from making a better life for yourself. It really makes me sick. Wake up America.

That’s all…

I was disgusted as I watched a news report interviews with parents, responding to the news story that a teacher was put on administrative leave (paid) while investigations were launched about his past performances in pornography — GAY pornography. Parents were concerned for the safety of their children, suggesting that they were somehow threatened by this gay man. I kept asking myself if he were straight would this have been as big an issue. The tack of the story was, we have a sick individual…after all, he was in a gay pornographic movie, and now he is around our children.

The one heartening outcome is the reported responses:

A poll on the Fox News site finds a staggering majority (81 percent) of readers believe Hogan should be allowed to keep his job, compared with a mere 18 percent who feel he should be fired.

Then there is the controversy over a Manhunt Ad as reported by the Atlantic Wire. Blatant sexuality, one homosexual, one heterosexual…the Koors ad, a bit more explicit in my opinion…yet the Manhunt ad was removed after complaints.

Maybe this is what happens when society is forced to really look at controversial or, previously hidden issues. It can be a scary time given that there will always be the vocal “crazies” that get the news coverage. I only hope that this is the kind of exposure that shows the world that gay people live among society. You know them, and we are just like you. Shocking concept, isn’t it?

Sunday, November 13; 12-3pm @ Seed Stitch Fine Yarns, Salem, MA
ICord: I’ll be teaching you everything I know about ICords. How to make them (even change colors and textures, even cables) and how to use and apply them (edges, cast-ons, bind-offs, applied edges) Check out the link for details.

Friday, November 25; 10am – 3:30pm @ Stitch House, Dorchester, MA
Mini Baby Surprise. Have you ever wanted to knit Elizabeth Zimmermann’s iconic Baby Surprise Jacket, but thought it might be too difficult or confusing. Nothing could be further from the truth and I’ll show you everything you need to know by showing you how to make a miniature version. (A requirement for this class is that you either purchase or already own the Schoolhousepress pattern.) At the end of the class, I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how simple the pattern is and that you’ll be casting on the full size version.

Saturday, November 26; 10am – 2:30pm @ Stitch House, Dorchester, MA
Knit Repair. This isn’t a “fixing your mistakes” class, although we may be covering a few of those techniques. This is a call that will teach you how to fix holes, either caused by rips or tears or (heaven forbid) insects. There will be some homework (just two swatches) and specific supplies for this class. Contact Anissa at Stitch House to sign up.

I’m excited to be teaching again. It really is one of my favorite things to do. My classes have a relaxed, fun atmosphere. I hope you’ll join me!