I wanted to (and I’m not quite sure why) share a little glimpse inside my mind at times like these.
I sit awaiting the arrival of the Adobe Creative Suite software 5.5 which will herald the restart of working on my book. I am preparing for that arrival by reading up on how to construct an ebook and by cleaning up a few other scattered creative ideas littering that space in my mind where I “work.” I can’t really explain it more than that…and perhaps those of you who work to create things will know what I mean.
Anyway, part of my anxiety lately (and there always is anxiety…it’s one of those things that I just have learned to to accept and moved on…knowing that I do not want to use daily medication — nothing against anyone who does…this is all a person choice and my choice is not to.) is that I don’t have a lot of anxiety that the actual work is about to begin. The rubber is going to hit the road and the piper must be paid (enough cliches for you?. So, in a back corner of that “room” is a door to a closet. In that closet, under a bunch of stuff is a box and in that box is the grain of doubt that will sprout the idea that no one is going to want to read or use this book. That the negative reaction is going to be so crushing that I may not be able to handle it and will prevent me from working. BUT, that seed has yet to sprout. I think it has been prevented from germinating by something Cat Bordhi said to a group I was in. She said that we should never believe what others say about ourselves…not the most amazing platitudes, not the most degrading criticisms. — She’s a smart lady.
So, I have been preparing for the work to come and (insanely, I know) worried that I’m not more worried about how I’m actually going to do this. But what I really think is happening is that this book has selected me to bring it into existence. I know this because the more I push to create it, the less anything happens. When I relax and listen to it, then things come into focus.
AND, as things often happen with me, I just got interested in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Eat, Pray, Love. I am enjoying it very much. And as my Obsessive Compulsive self often does, I scoured and read all the things about Elizabeth Gilbert that I could. And I found the following video (link provided below.) I encourage any of my creative brothers and sisters to invest the 20 minutes it takes to watch this video, below. I think the most inspiring and insightful things are near the last 10 minutes. And it’s so comforting knowing that I’m not the only one that thinks like this. It may be crazy, but I feel comforted knowing I’m not crazy alone. Enjoy!